Is growth the new happiness?

Fill your cup.

Sounds easy right? Just do things that you love to do. Focus on yourself. Prioritize your needs. It all seems so simple. What the heck, get a massage and you’ll feel better in no time.

The most common question I’ve asked myself my entire life is; how do I get there?

I’d like to tell you that everything always falls into place. That being single should mean that things are simple as I don’t have to account for other people. What I’ve learned in the past 6 months is that endless opportunities also lead to countless thoughts and ideas running through my head. I’m limitless right? To a degree I suppose, but the challenge is navigating and grasping onto those ideas that I feel comfortable executing on.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed when you put yourself out there to trying new experiences. The rotating series of concerns such as; What if it doesn’t work out? What if I don’t make new friends? What if… What if..

There are countless reasons not to try something. My saboteurs will come in any chance they get to remind me that I may not enjoy the decisions I’m making, or I may find myself unhappy in the situation I put myself in.

I ask myself, what is happiness? What is failure?

To not try out of fear to me, is failure. I have spent much of my life thinking that I’m not worthy in some cases to achieve my dreams. That I’m destined to struggle and find out the hard way as they say. This way of thinking is exhausting.

What I’ve learned in the past 6 months is that the decisions I’m making for myself are authentic, difficult and challenging. They offer me the experiences of feeling all the emotions and navigating of situations that are not always easy.

Every single time I exit the cozy zone, I learn more about myself, what I want from life and from the people around me. How do I want to feel when I sit at my new favourite restaurant (Couchon Dingue and Sapristi in Quebec btw ). How do I want to feel when I walk down the streets in my neighbourhood.

I would not have understood all of this if I had not tried travelling and experiencing life in this new way. Yes I’m alone. I don’t have dinner with friends that I would normally do. There’s no group activities or birthday parties to celebrate when I’m on my own. As much as I’ve appreciated all of that in my life, I also appreciate where I am at now.

And this happiness I feel is growth.

Growth is nothing to shake a stick at ;)